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10 thoughts on “Vice Dos and Don'ts: 10 Years of VICE Magazine's Street Fashion Critiques

  1. says:

    Of course, anybody with even the most rudimentary talent for sniffing these things out will surmise that Vice Dos and Don ts falls well within the often nebulous boundaries of Hipster Culture As such, it is expected to walk a wobbly, boing boing tightrope, simultaneously embracing this status via its snark and in the know elitism and deprecating it too, because an objet de hipsteur must ipso facto shrug off conspicuity lest it become the target of a willfully deprecated, inconspicuous, and therefore ultra super duper elite hipster culture not to mention a punchline for mainstream culture.The politics of hipsterism are thorny and labyrinthine, if I may mix my metaphors into a hearty, nourishing stew In principle, I have no problem with a twentysomething NYU undergrad wearing a vintage t shirt ironically, listening to Arcade Fire or Of Montreal or whatever, and trying generally to look like an emaciated nerd on crack In fact, I think most of that is pretty neato compared to some of the alternatives, like being a gun toting racist ignoramus in teal Wal Mart sweatpants listening to Tim McGraw or an oily haired business goon in an ultra WASPy Ralph Lauren Purple Label suit Everything I hate about upper class, aspirational America is writ large in Ralph Lauren magazine ads Oh, these Aryan McMansion types who want to play croquet and watch polo matches and wear seersucker jackets and burgundy cravats, like it s fuckin Edwardian England But I must pull back the reins before this digression gets too far afield Where I have serious problems with Hipster Culture is when like other countercultures it gradually, almost imperceptibly, becomes a miniature reproduction of the mainstream culture it purports to counter, just with different uniforms and cultural reference points Then, I pick up a book like Vice Dos and Don ts, and I suddenly don t care about these quibbles, qualms, and sociological conundrums This is just fucking funny stuff, no matter who you are or, pointedly, what you are It epitomizes the nth degree decadence of hipster culture, in which anything and everything sacred is fair game for caustic, pitiless insults Even the Fashion Dos are often liberally maligned here Infants, the homeless, and the obviously mentally ill are all fodder for excoriating put downs, so if you re scrupulously sensitive to propriety i.e., terminally P.C , you ll probably wanna scoot on over to some feel bad literature of oppressed minorities post haste, to salve your conscience n all Maya Angelou may be the anti this book spiritually speaking If we must speak spiritually What is the book It s a compilation of street fashion critiques from the previous ten years of Vice magazine But street fashion and critiques are misleading in that they lead you to believe this is, like, the edgy but serious stepchild of Vogue Not at all These are mainly just snapshots of people mainly total freaks on the street in various cities being ridiculed or occasionally praised by Gavin McInnes, the author of the column.Some of my favorites to follow Please know that these lose a lot without the benefit of the accompanying photos So mitigate your judgment Photo A child, maybe three, viewed from behind, in tiny purple sweat pants, a silver puffer jacket, and a red knit hat each of her hands is being held by a presumed parent.Critique Nice fucking purple track pants, you fat bitch What are you, the fucking Michelin Man Nice gay hat, too, you fucking little loser bitch Photo Fat man with long curly black hair and bald spot wearing a denim shirt which reads, Banging Is My Passion He s holding hands with a jean jacketed suburban mom type.Critique Right on You know what my passion is Being forced to picture a gigantic, sweaty Greek man in black socks bouncing his hairy brown balls against this poor woman s ass for hours and hours and hours On behalf of everyone fortunate enough to walk behind you, thanks Photo Really fat guy wearing super tight khaki shorts with a white shirt and suspenders and what looks like a bad at home haircut A FloBee malfunction perhaps Critique And the winner is this chief Up until he was 29, his mum was his best friend Then she died of ovarian cancer and now Nigel turns to her dogs Noddy and Big Ears for camaraderie Don t worry about him, though he gets to fuck them Photo Random photo of overprocessed nightclub douche and douchette in messenger caps She s wearing a strategically torn up t shirt that says Tits and a studded belt He s wearing a gold jacket with no shirt underneath.Critique Look at these turds Could they be bigger pieces of human waste please Look at them They re just two big pieces of genitalia with ridiculous hats on They re not even worth diarrhea ing on Photo White, uptight postcollegiate couple on the dance floor in Polo oxfords.Critique Normal people just keep getting weirder and weirder to me Sure the guys are hairy, obtuse mama s boys that read sports, piss on the lid and dance with an overbite, but the women are just as shitty She doesn t even know what a fucking butt plug is And so onClearly, this book is not for the easily offended a.k.a the hopeless, humorless dullards But everyone else should order a copy as soon as possible Or if you go to a bookstore a real, live bookstore to purchase it, make sure you look good and aren t dressed like an elderly gay Italian retard because, mark my words, someone will take a picture of your patchwork jacket and pegrolled stonewashed jeans wearin ass and send it in to Vice And then we ll be laughing at what a total fucking jackass you are and paying 17.95 plus state sales tax to do it A bargain, I might add.


  2. says:

    There are no words to express how much I adore this schadenfreudian orgy, or my undying devotion to Vice magazine and Gavin McInnes, even though he is clearly a dangerous, drug addled, unbelievably mean prick, and did you hear that Vice finally kicked him out Which is totally fucked, since he was one of the founding members and all that Anyway, this book makes me HOWL with amazement, every goddamn time I read it Please go buy it, then you ll understand.In case you haven t seen this book or the magazine, I just want to give you a taste of it I realize that it s a little silly without the photos, but I will try to describe WARNING If you are easily offended, please fuck off to another review DON T a pic of a skinny girl in real low jeans, viewed from behind, with the whole top of her thong undies showing The only guys that are into thongs are the guys that still think girls don t poo The rest of us are like get your fucking shit rag out of my face lady Why don t you wear some used tampons as earrings while you re at it DO pic of a clean cut guy in a black v neck sweater over a pink button down Now we know what Outkast were talking about when they said so fresh and so clean You almost have to be a virgin to rock a matching pink belt and tie, but he s probably not He probably gets a bananas amount of blow jobs DON T pic of a guy in a jaunty hat, biting his bottom lip looking upwards Professional dancers have got to go They re always wiggling around like they have to go pee, even when they re at the dinner table Then Ring My Bell comes on and they lean over going, I don t know how you can sit still like that Get the fuck away from me, snakey man DO pic of a cute girl with red terry cloth shorts a cut up black t shirt These 70s high school shorts are going to be the death of all Western males this summer Terry towel ones, Howe lee sheet Can you invent some split crotch ones so we can do it without you taking them off DON T pic of a chubby guy in a red t shirt with a yellow lightning bold on it, holding a tiny white dog Guy, The Flash was the fastest man alive You re a fat pig with a faggy dog Get a shirt with food on it or something Right now you re a parody of how slow you are DO umm, girl in a weird face hood, all black clothes but white gloves, and a cardboard stereo hanging around her neck You know when you get really baked and you do a funny dance around the living room that makes your sister laugh so hard she pees herself Some people like that moment so much they decide to do it forever DON T woman listing dangerously, prob about to fall over Not since the alchemists has one group of people tried so hard to defy science Dear junkies You cannot sleep standing up This really is one of my all time most favorite book ever Or wait, that can t be true Can that be true It might be true Should I hate myself if that s true I don t think I care.


  3. says:

    hipster jackasses critiquing and praising various hipster and non hipster types i should probably hate this for the smug lameness of it all BUT IT IS TOO FUCKING HILARIOUS ah well, can t win em all you won this round, hipsters i bet this will be even fun and heartwarming 20 years from now, when all the fashion do s and don ts and all the snark have acquired a quaint retro feel ah, hipsters.aren t they just adorable don t you just love their floppy hair, skinny jeans, long playing records, and fixed gears plus they apparently know everything about everything


  4. says:

    Vice is one of my favorite magazines and I savor every single issue, but I ALWAYS save the Dos Don ts pages for last just like I save the frosting on a piece of birthday cake for last, cause, you know, that s the best freakin part I like to read them out loud to my old man and then we laugh and laugh Having page after page of these little gems to enjoy is better than having a whole jar of frosting that you ain t gotta share with nobody.


  5. says:

    Not exactly a proud pleasure honestly, Vice Magazine s So Over It We re Under It editorial tone would have cut ice with me back a good decade or so when I considered my own opinions to be unalterable laws That said, this book made me laugh A lot Even sans the crudely hilarious commentary, the parade of the misguided and the beguiling misbeguiling contained in these photographs is enough to give the most inveterate fast forwarders pause.


  6. says:

    Funniest damn thing ever put to paper This guy is a self proclaimed bastard, but he s great at what he does I ve been paging through this on a very regular basis for the past year or so and it still makes pee.


  7. says:

    This is possibly the greatest book of all time I know it s not real literature, but all books should hope to have such wit, sarcasm, and loathe for humanity I aspire to hate as beautifully as Vice.


  8. says:

    if you like your humor really mean, absurd and funny as hell, then this is the book for you.


  9. says:

    OK call me a hipster snob but so fucking funny Really.


  10. says:

    Funny satire about fashion critiques of streetwear I appreciate good streetwear, so I like the Do s The DON TS contrast hilariously with the DOs, as some differences can be subtle or not so subtle.